Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Spencer is such a downer name.


Living with Jack has grown in popularity rather quickly so I thought I would follow up with another post about his antics.

Jack returned from a long weekend away just recently. He had been complaining of tooth pain for a few days prior to leaving. He was lying on his bed, occasionally uttering some line or other about tooth pain when suddenly he went motionless and stared intensely across the room at nothing in particular.

Jack: “GUMMY BEARS”

Me: “….what….?”

Jack: “Gummy bears, man”

Me: “I don't have any…”

Jack: “No dude, I need to stuff my face with gummy bears. That’ll help the pain. I'm gonna go out and buy as many bags of gummy bears as I can. And you know what?”

Me: (completely bewildered) what….?

Jack: “If I can't buy 'em….I'm gonna steal 'em. HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE?”

*pulls out wallet*

Upon discovering that he only had two dollars in his wallet he decided that he might be able to buy some from a vending machine. He glanced over at me,

Jack: “I don’t WANT to steal them but if I don’t have enough money I’m gonna have to.”

He then sprang into action. He moved around the room grabbing his things. Occasionally he paused to throw out a one-liner.

Jack: “Since I have a car, I WILL go buy gummy bears.”

Jack: “Since I have class tomorrow I WILL pack for that.”

And then, noticing that I really wasn’t responding to what he was saying,

Jack: “Since I have the right to remain silent I WILL.”

Jack: “It's mind over matter kid…”

Then he left.

I didn’t see him again until the weekend was over. I did find a near-empty bag of gummy bears when I returned from class that night.

He reappeared midday on Tuesday and immediately started spouting off more quotable quotes.

“Long time no see, Giants hat” – Yes, he was addressing the hat. I wonder if this is the same hat he landed on last time?

He then mumbled something I couldn’t undertand and then shouted “SNACK PACKS!”

“Gloves, moto-stick, what more does one need?” Deep breaths and chewing gum? (see previous post)

Then he turned to me and said in a disappointed voice,

“I wish your name wasn’t Spencer. It’s such a downer name. How come your name isn’t Zack or something? Be so much easier…in battle mode…guess I just have to accept it, kills the flow man.”

I guess I don’t have a very easy name to shout when he’s in “battle mode” or something? He then prepared to head to class.

“Warriors must do what warriors must do. It’s battle time. One last time, lets go!
….It sounds so creepy…. (laughter)”

Yes Jack, it does sound creepy.

And then, my favorite quote of the day as he was finally leaving.

“I’m trying this whole pants sag thing, it’s not bad. I like to picture an ape.”

Then several seconds later…

“That whole pants saggy thing? I actually don’t like it…it’s awkward.”
“I’ll give class another shot. I’ll go to class again.”

As he receded down the hallway I could hear him “keys check wallet check  boom boom boom boom” Then he sang “Where did I park where did I park where did I park?”

Yep…

Here’s another quote I found recently that I had jotted down in a notebook a couple weeks ago and then forgotten about.
“Pit swag like nothing. Like nothing it’s a habit.”

I could not derive ANY meaning whatsoever from this sentence. I read it to a classmate who actually managed to understand what it meant.

Apparently it means –
“I have so much swag (coolness) that it is like second nature. I don’t even have to worry about it.”

I think I need to hire him as a translator.

Final note: I looked on Jack’s Facebook page. In his “about” section.

Under “favorite quotations” is the following:

“90 percent of the things i hear in my head.”

Me too Jack, me too…

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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