Friday, December 4, 2009

Northerly I be.

Just below the Great North Woods of Maine I sit.

So I'm up at my mother's house in Greenville and I'd like to share with you a few things I learned today.

First, when someone hits a medium-sized mammal while going 70 mph on the highway it paints nearly 200 feet of pavement bright red with gore. I did not witness this event, but there was some guy on the side of the road who was taking off his shirt in preparation to do something to the animal. What, I cannot say.

Second, many pre-adolescent girls are voracious, bloodthirsty carnivores. Both of my stepsisters prefer to eat rare steak. When I say rare, I mean raw. "Let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me!" kind of raw. I wouldn't be surprised if the man on the side of the highway was preparing to slice up the roadkill and serve it to his children. At first I thought this phenomenon was confined to my two stepsisters but today I met one of their friends, who immediately suggested ribs when asked what she would like for dinner. Ribs, with BBQ sauce, closely simulate the gory reality of uncooked ribs. The steak (which was prepared for one of my stepsisters) was bright pink, nevertheless, she complained of it being overcooked. Therefore, little girls are bloodthirsty carnivores. I can't decide if that is a good thing or not.

Third, and perhaps most important, you can buy this on the internet. And I thought coffee couldn't get any worse. Although I will admit that the counterpart product, Monkey Picked Tea, is pretty darned awesome.

I'm going to go watch the last episode of Flash Forward for this season. I'll update tomorrow with info on what's going on with my projects.

Have a good weekend everyone!